Part 4
By now everyone in the charming town of Nimcock had taken sides. Who could not take a side? Everyone was talking about “the big brass boundary brouhaha.”
The affair continued to produce the big news of the day, the excitement of the month if not the entire year, perhaps an issue that is blown entirely out of proportion in small towns simply because it offered some relief to the occasional twinge of boredom some people might feel in small-town life.
One thing everyone could agree on, however, the brouhaha offered great entertainment. Whether any of the hilarious takes had actually happened seemed beside the point. Perhaps some of the stories were a little exaggerated. It’s also possible even some were blown completely out of the zone of truth. It was like a game one could play daily. More stimulating than even a crossword. Who knows? Perhaps there was even some competition as to whom could broadcast the juiciest story?
Everyone had to choose a “side.” Why this was so no one seemed to know. One just had to take a side.
This posed a problem. With the changing rumors on the loose, it occasionally necessitated having to change one’s “side.” Few chose a side and stuck with it. It was considered OK to change sides as the stories changed.
For example, initially sides were chosen according to what military service one’s family identified with, thus half of the town was supporting the admiral and half of the town was supporting the general. No one worried one bit about what boundary survey was correct or which party was in the right or wrong. Sides were chosen merely on what service families had members serving in and as far back as World War II which included three generations. The Army families went for the general, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines went with the admiral. The Air Force split their allegiance between the two sides and the Trump Space Force was too new for anyone to have a member serving in it. After all, one had to be as faithful as possible to one’s family military service.
Now military duty and religion, at least to the extent of membership in one church, had been covered. Was it now time for politics to raise its ugly head?
Politics brings out the real zealots, of which there are members in both major parties, to latch on to a side of an issue according to their prescribed dogma. It’s always fun when those who cannot see outside the steel teeth of their political trap become embroiled in an issue and begin to, well, let’s call it what it is … rave.
The job now for the people in town was to find out about the admiral and general’s political affiliations. This would not be an easy task. It would call for ultra-sly subtlety and super sleuthing.
Mr. Snippet, the town barber, was chosen as best for the task of finding out each officer’s party affiliation. He was an excellent choice for this highly sensitive post as he gave haircuts to each party and was known for constant chatter that normally took the form of passing on good advice as he cut hair. His system was known as “Snip and Advise.”
He practiced in front of the mirror in his shop when it was empty, ways to ask which political party dogma the two men supported. But no matter how long he practiced asking such a question it always seemed to him to be downright nosy and rude.
“What do you think of our president?” he finally blurted out to each “Four Star” at their next haircut. Each was foolish enough to answer as they must have known the information would spread across Nimcock like hot molasses on pancakes.
One loved the president and one detested the president! It was now a fair conclusion that one was a Republican and one was a Democrat!
Hurrah! What good fun! Now the town could direct support according to political party dogma! This caused a good deal of consternation as residents had to consider yet another change of side. There was a lot of talk. The people of Nimcock hadn’t had as much fun since the fence blow up between neighbors several years ago.
Merrypen shook her head. If only “comeheres” would behave and stop riling up the born-heres! If only they would love thy neighbor and be kind to neighbors. How could Merrypen convince her cast of characters that demonstrating each day good will to one’s fellow man in action, not words, (and not adhering to some dogma), is the key to improving the world.
Meanwhile the dispute seemed to be at a stalemate. The lower court had decided in favor of the general. But the appeals court had decided in favor of the admiral. The case was headed for the Supreme Court of Virginia. That is when Merrypen decided she needed to take command and find a better solution that would prevent the case from going any further and stop the humongous legal bills that each party was paying his lawyer.
What makes lawyers rich? Simple. Litigation. Why not cut their salaries? Merrypen decided this was exactly what she would do! In a way her literary ploy was her secret reform of high legal fees! If clients could not control themselves and settle things out of court then she would find a way to settle things and save everyone a lot of money along with the return of peace to Nimcock.
The two warring parties had applied to the Supreme Court of Virginia for a final decision on which survey was to be honored, the admiral’s or the general’s. If she didn’t find a way to stop the legal fight, who knows if the Big Brass wouldn’t try to take their case all the way to the Supreme Court!
Merrypen turned to an even higher court for help. “I’ve made a muddle, God, she confessed in her next round of prayers. Won’t you help me bring peace with my pen to my dear town once again? Please! I hate the turmoil I have created. Please help me bring an end to this “big brass” boundary brouhaha.”
This is not to say that Merrypen has any special connection to God but… her prayers were answered the very next day.
Note: This story is fiction. All characters and events described herein are the product of the author’s imagination. Any suggestion to real people or events is purely coincidental.
