Part 2
Walking up the hill from Urbanna Creek to town, Snark passed the Scottish Factor Store Museum, home of the Mitchell Map. He stopped to take in the building noticing it had a basement on the first floor underneath the main room which was entered by going up steps to an open porch.
Another colonial home, the Gressitt House, was next door and across the street, a brick home, “Little Sandwich,” was situated on a bluff overlooking Urbanna Creek.
Snark felt an immediate sense of early American history settle upon his shoulders, rather somewhat of a burden, as if he were carrying a knapsack filled with stone. Snark was not much into history.
As he made his way to the drugstore lunch counter he noticed a sign that stated the town had been founded in 1680. That seemed a long time ago to Snark who had been born and raised in the Midwest where most historical homes had been built in the 1800s.
His ex-girlfriend, Whiz, had entered the drugstore earlier and settled in at the counter over coffee to await Snark. She was worried. Horrified that he had come, as if he really intended to steal the Mitchell Map and could not believe that he could have taken her wild idea seriously. She would have to knock that nonsense out of his bull-headed brain and get him back on a sloop and return to Baltimore as soon as possible.
Whiz was a successful Realtor who specialized in waterfront homes in Tidewater. Many of her customers were from Baltimore. While meeting a client last weekend to sign a contract she had met Snark for a few drinks, had a few laughs but never dreamed he would take her plans for the perfect crime seriously. But then Snark was impulsive. And he was out of a job. She should have known better than to suggest an easy way to get money, even in jest.
Whiz enjoyed going to the small-town lunch counter because the men sat in one section and the women in the other and this provincial tradition was written in stone. She always made a statement by purposely sitting in the midst of the men. This never failed to cause an immediate halt to all conversation which centered around the latest gossip in town.
She looked around and saw the usual cast of small-town characters perched like birds on their stools. Her favorites were in their usual seats, the chairwoman of the Republican party and the chairman of the Democratic party.
The Republican was dressed in her red, white and blue outfit sporting a wide brimmed straw hat that boasted the latest candidate running for office. On her lapel was a rhinestone elephant rampant, trunk up, as if ready to attack any approaching donkeys.
Across from her was the chairman of the Democratic party. A retired government bureaucrat, arrogant with the knowledge that he was right and all others were wrong, he amused himself by sending as many barbs as possible across to the Republican. She generally ignored him, but occasionally what he said ruffled her feathers and she would storm out of the drug store like a hen with a plucked tail. It was such fun to watch.
Snark entered the drugstore and immediately spotted Whiz by her curly mop of red hair. He slid onto a stool next to her. A stranger, all conversation stopped dead in its tracks. Then, causing an immediate gasp from the group, he planted a kiss directly on Whiz’s lips.
Whiz was furious. “Stop it, you oaf!” she shouted. She knew his behavior would ignite immediate flare up of gossip. Snark had been an old flame but she was not interested in a renewal of the relationship.
They became aware that every eye and ear in the drugstore was turned on them. It was as if the counter trade couldn’t wait for a next act to this fascinating new play.
Deciding to find a more private setting, Whiz left change on the counter and led Snark out the door to her Jaguar parked outside the store. She did not speak as they drove down Cross Street and pulled into Waterman’s Park. They were soon seated on a bench overlooking the Rappahannock River which gave them the privacy they needed to talk.
“Look,” she started, “you have to give up this insane idea of stealing the Mitchell map! I never meant for you to take my idea for a perfect crime seriously! You must return tomorrow morning to Baltimore and put this entire fiasco out of your mind!”
Snark looked at Whiz with a surprised look. “Hey, gal, what are you saying? I’m here to snatch that map and I’m not leaving without it. For one thing I’m out of work now and I need the money. For another thing, I happen to think it’s a great plan!”
“I can’t believe you would resort to robbery, Snark! You will absolutely be caught and go to jail for many years. Please rethink this! Even if you could steal that map, the internet would be on fire that very day and that map would be so hot you would never be able to sell it!”
“Hah! That’s what you think! I’m not going to try to sell it! I’m going to collect insurance money on it and then anonymously return it. It’s an easy way to pick up some spending money!”
“You’ll never get away with it. And that stupid kiss at the drugstore! What was that all about? Everyone there saw you and could give a perfect description of you to the sheriff! Of course they would suspect you! And me too!” Whiz felt herself turning hot with rage that passed through her body like hot fire. She suddenly realized that she, too, might go to jail for this ridiculous joke.
“Yes, Babe, but there’s no turning me back now. I’m stealing the map tonight. It’s Sunday. They won’t even know it’s gone until next Saturday since they’ll be closed all week! By then no one will even remember my presence in town and my lunch counter kiss!”
Whiz sighed. She could see additional words would be wasted. The man she had once loved was a nut! Thank goodness she was no longer romantically involved with him!
“I should tell you I also told my mother my idea for the perfect plot for a robbery in Urbanna. You remember she is a writer. She liked the idea. She has never written a crime story before but she very well could take up the idea. If she does, she will know the crime would somehow be connected to me!”
“Besides it’s wrong to steal!” she added hotly. But Snark only laughed. As if her words had fallen on deaf ears. Which they had.
→ Part 3
Note to readers: This story is fiction. All characters and events are the product of the imagination of the author.
