URBANNA — Bet you don’t know what life’s dreadful Ds are. I do because 60 years ago I said “I do” to a lawyer. Since then, I have been hearing all about the Ds and how a “prudent (a lawyer’s favorite word) client” plans his life carefully so as not to suffer more than necessary over the dreadful Ds.
I share such prudent information with you (and I won’t send you a bill) so you can also beware of the dreadful D’s:
- Death
- Diet
- Disease
- Disability
- Diabetes
- Dementia
- Divorce
- Debt
- Depression
(On top of the lawyer’s list of the dreadful Ds, I would also add Diet, Drudgery and Dishes. Perhaps readers could add more words to the list.)
Now, there is nothing we can do to escape Death (and taxes). But the lawyer assures me a prudent person can plan now for the inevitable and take some of the sting out of it. I’ve already written about creating a death file and assembling all the papers one needs if such an occurrence should happen. So, let’s skip that dreadful D and move on to the others.
Disease is next. Here is where the lawyer turns dietician as he will recommend starting out at a young age living a healthy lifestyle. Not much fun because it means no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, unsafe sex, sugar, high fat foods, body piercings and perhaps some other activities that might be fun. But the sooner one “regulates” (another favorite word from a lawyer) one’s lifestyle and follows the rules of good health, the better to combat disease.
Did you know, for example, that most health issues come from what we voluntarily put in our own bodies? So now we know the real enemy we are dealing with in this discussion of the dreadful D’s … us.
Then Diet, possibly the worst of the dreadful D’s, especially if you’re hungry, is another dreadful D and Exercise (which is a dreadful E) but diet and exercise are musts to fend off Disease like Diabetes and obesity so that means one must cultivate WP (Will Power.)
The other pointer from the lawyer is to sign up for a long-term health plan as soon as possible in case of future Dementia or Disability that requires 24/7 assistance.
Another dreadful D is Divorce which happens to many of us. Not only can Divorce ruin one’s health, but it can also cost a fortune. Going to a lawyer for any reason these days can trigger horrendous bills. My advice is to stay far away from the lawyers. However, sometimes this is quite impossible (and if you ever need a good lawyer, thank goodness they are there.)
The only way not to receive horrendous legal bills is to go to law school yourself or marry a lawyer. But keep in mind there is no free lunch. One pays one way or another. But as far as I know lawyers do not bill their spouses for their ongoing prudent advice. (Although it is possible I may start receiving bills from my free lawyer from this point on.)
How do you avoid divorce, I foolishly asked my free lawyer. “By staying married,” he responded. Only in rare circumstances does he recommend divorce, and only with a severe problem that cannot be solved by counseling.
Which then leads to another tedious lecture.One must make a prudent choice for a lifelong partner in marriage.
Which is laugh out loud funny. I well remember falling in love with a man 60 years ago that was opposite of me in most every way and I well know after love strikes its mighty arrow into one’s heart, forget about making “a prudent choice for a lifelong partner in marriage.”
Then Debt. More unpleasantness. Develop a budget, save a percentage of earnings for emergency or retirement and pay bills at once. One must not use one’s credit card unless in an emergency as the interest rates are high. Also, too much debt could lead to bankruptcy.
Lastly, all the prudent advice on lifestyles and choices leads to the last dreadful D. Depression. If you weren’t depressed before reading about the dreadful Ds, then you surely are by now.
So, spouses must suffer the professions of their other half. Spouses of doctors must fear germs, dentists must obsessively brush and floss. Spouses of English teachers must live with correct pronouns and worry they might accidentally use a double negative or end a sentence in a preposition.
Worst off of all are the spouses of writers. They end up as characters in columns and books and nothing much can be done about it. Except Divorce which would only lead to Debt, Disease and Depression.
Which would not at all be prudent.
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