Advice to graduates from Aunt Mary
Urbanna, Va.— Who listens to good advice given at graduation? I certainly didn’t when I graduated from Vermilion High School in Ohio in 1959. I was too excited about getting out of my boring, small town (Vermilion) and hitting the big time (Urbanna) to waste any time listening to a lot of dull words from any old geezers. Besides, I knew everything there was to know.
Sure I did. I can’t tell you how smart I was when I graduated from high school. I had all the answers and I couldn’t wait to change the world more to my liking. Odd I never once considered that change might not be such a good thing.
Consider the average 18-year-old, ah, what a beloved creation! Cocky, sensitive and adorable, a mysterious combination of brains, body, hormones and genes. We old fogies would do anything to protect them from hitting that brick wall. We know how it hurts. If only they would listen up.
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| by Mary Wakefield Buxton |
Yet, dear graduates, here goes yet another stab. I’ll skip the stuff about getting as much education as possible, working hard and making something of yourself. What your Aunt Mary will address are some personal warnings that only your best friend will mention.
Here’s a list of mistakes I wish I had NOT done: I wish I had never started smoking at age 14 to prove to the world how bright and sophisticated I was. I’m grateful I wised up and quit before too many years passed. If you smoke, quit now. Every year you wait down the road makes quitting even harder.
I wish I hadn’t started drinking like everyone else in college. I didn’t like alcohol much back then but I sure like it now. A smart teenager would dodge alcohol and drugs altogether and skip future addiction problems.
I thought I was smart in the sex department and waited until marriage. Unfortunately, I married the wrong man at age 19 and had to suffer a quick divorce. Fortunately, soon after I married the right man (this time, I listened to Mother), and I’m grateful for my 47-year marriage to a truly wonderful man. I was one lucky lady because making the right marital choice is the number one ingredient to stability and happiness in life. Don’t rush into marriage because mistakes are painful. Once married, commit your life to your spouse, work to solve problems, and stay married.
I wish I had learned to eat wisely at a young age because in my younger years I never thought of counting calories. Later in life it’s much harder to control weight. Start now being careful of food quantities and for good health, and don’t let yourself gain too much weight.
I wish I had heeded good advice. But, no, I wanted to do my own thing. Headstrong is the word for it. My motto was: ”Damn those torpedoes, full speed ahead!” Find a better motto for life.
I wish I had saved more money. Now I realize good sense in saving money for a rainy day. Guess what? The rainy season has arrived.
I wish I had stayed out of debt. Adults warned me about the Great Depression but I dismissed all budgetary advice. Hard times would never happen to me. I had to learn the hard way to live within my means. Smart teenagers start out from day one learning to shun credit cards and live on a budget.
I wish I had started writing at an earlier age and worked harder in my chosen field. Whatever your passion, pursue it early. Life is too short not to work in the field you love and give it every ounce of energy as if your happiness in life depended on it. It does.
Some things I got right: I never forgot who I was or my small-town values. I stood up for what I believed was right and suffered the consequences. I took risks but accepted responsibility for failures. I hung onto a faith in God in spite of myself. I obeyed laws but questioned rules when I felt they were wrong. I did not conform to group-think, but followed my own inner voice (i.e., I never pierced my ears). I laughed a lot along the way and especially at myself. After a knockdown, I got up and tried again.
Not a bad plan for vita abundantior.
P.S. Learn Latin.
http://www.marywakefieldbuxton.com